This has bad words. Most of the other things we write on here usually don’t Minnesota Vikings Hoodie , but this one does. It seems to be a popular bit, so until the law catches up with me, I’m going to keep doing it. Thanks for understanding, and thanks for not reading and not letting your kids read it if bad language isn’t your thing. Hope you enjoy the rest of our articles—JoshThat’s right bishes, it’s a substitute effort on Zim Tzu this week. And just like all other substitutues, feel free to hate me and throw paper airplanes around this joint cause I clearly have less moral authority than the real teacher.Well, I’m not sure how many Vikings fans expected what was coming on Sunday, but I’d say the number was somewhere between 99 and 101 percent of us. I mean, what else is new? Playing down to the level of an inferior team, getting blown at home, suffering a historic loss when expecting to win, fucking up expectations when it comes to living up to the team’s potential ability to win a Super Bowl.So what do you have to do when you blew a game you should have won, one of your captains is dealing with mental health issues, and you’re heading out on the road to face one of the few other teams in your conference that could challenge for a Super Bowl this season.Sounds like a good recipe for success, I know! Because you are Zim Tzu, The King In The North, Breaker Of Gold Fever, The One Who Ties Packers and Gets Run Over by Bills, High Septon Of Eagan, Lord Commander Of The Iron Range And Twin Cities, Master Of Fortress TCO, Honorary Elder Of Mankato and Protector Of The Realm.That’s where Ted (and I, for this week and next) come in. What Ted and I (and I truly do mean just us, I better not get sued over this shit) do is break down the film* of the press conference, send what Mike Zimmer said through our own personal translators**, then spew it back out for public consumption***.*Yes, it is more instructive than anything Leslie Frazier ever said, no it should not be considered helpful medical or legal advice.**And I’m not talking about those jank-ass translators they have on whatever the latest sci-fi show is, I’m talking the translators that everyone gets when six bottles of beer are on the floor.***I’d recommend wearing sunglasses because the taeks in these articles have a tendency to blind people for their hotness.As he usually does, Mike Zimmer opened his press conference with a statement (Note, this press conference happened yesterday):What Zim Tzu meant: Well that was a fuckin’ disaster Youth Customized Minnesota Vikings Jerseys , wasn’t it? This team played flatter than Kyrie Irving thinks the Earth is on Sunday, and now we have to go face the New Best Team in the West. On a Short Week. Because why the hell not. Oh, and they’ve only gotten better since we kicked their asses last season, and it certainly seems like we’ve gotten worse since then. But who knows, maybe that fucker on their sidelines is still feeding that shlub under center his feeds and maybe this defense can pull something out of their asses.Q: Is football important when it comes to Everson [Griffen] right now? Are you worried about his well-being?What Zim Tzu meant: What the fuck else can happen to this team while I’m in charge? I mean, we’ve literally almost had a player’s leg fall off, I lost my best running back for a year due to legal and league issues, my offensive line all died one year, and I’ve been cycling through quarterbacks like heroin addicts cycle through dealers. Of COURSE one of my captains needs to have a mental health evaluation. Guess I should be glad that I wasn’t around when the ceiling fell in on that old piece of shit stadium, though I suppose the new one could always catch fire if one of those birds those guys were worried about fall into the glass and the glass decides to microwave the field.Q: When did you know [Griffen] was out of sorts? Do you hope to see him soon?What Zim Tzu meant: All right you fuckers, one more person asks me a question I don’t like about Griff, I’m going Melissa McCarthy on your asses and throwing this podium right through you.Q: Do you think the [Everson Griffen] situation affected your football team’s focus on Sunday?What Zim Tzu meant: I’ll kill any of you sons of bitches who lets it out of the room, but what else would explain that disgraceful display on Sunday? I mean, it was Buffalo for fuck’s sakes, not the goddamn Monstars. We damn well better find a supply of that “Michael’s Juice” before we hit the field against L.A. this afternoon because if we don’t, I’m making these sons of bitches walk home.Q: What is the biggest challenge the Rams offense will present?What Zim Tzu meant: Yeah, you know how everyone was bragging about how good our offense was going to be before this season? Yeah, think like that, but only with an offensive line. That’s what we’re facing tonight. Fuckers.Q: Did you watch a lot of last year’s tape when you played the Rams? You guys played well against them.What Zim Tzu meant: You’re goddamn right we put on last year’s tape. Hell I have that game’s tape on a permanent loop in my bedroom. You know, to help me fall asleep. Nothing like proving to the rest of the world that those sons of bitches aren’t as good as everyone thought they were. If it happens again tonight, I may never sleep again.Q: What does Suh add to their defensive line?What Zim Tzu meant: For fucks sakes, if our offensive line hasn’t learned how to block again before tonight’s game, Kirk could very well be leaving this game in a body bag. Thank the good Lord that the only good part of L.A.’s defense that is fully healthy right now is their defensive line, because if we also had to deal with those corners, I think we’d be playing to see how long it takes us to cross the 50-yard line again. Fuckers.Q: What if anything can Kirk do to cut down on fumbles?What Zim Tzu meant: Kirk, I love you man, but if you fumble even once this game I swear I will personally cut your hands off and use them as boxing gloves to teach the corners how to play coverage. HOLD ON TO THE DAMN BALL JACKASS.Q: You’ve talked about pass rush discipline in the past. How did you think that was on Sunday and how does the ability of teams to extend plays stress the defense?What Zim Tzu meant: WHEN I SAY KEEP THE DAMN QUARTERBACK IN THE POCKET, YOU KEEP THE DAMN QUARTERBACK IN THE POCKET. Fuckers.Q: It’s one thing to play on Thursday Night, but how tough is it to play a team two time zones away on the road on Thursday Night?What Zim Tzu meant: Hey you scheduling sons of bitches, can a team get a home game on Thursday night just ONCE? I mean, for fuck’s sakes www.minnesotavikingsteamonline.com , how likely is it that we’re on the road for every fucking one of our short-week games while I’m here? About as likely as a man actually deserving to wear a large condom, that’s how. Fuckers.Alright you sons of bitches, let’s go out there, hope our fans outnumber the Rams to make it seem more like a home game, and prove that Week three was just a damn fluke.See you next week.Same Old Treadwell? Don’t Give Up On Him Yet At the conclusion of the Minnesota 2018 Training Camp, I was convinced that this was the season of Laquon Treadwell.I didn’t think the he was poised for 90 catches and 1,300 yards this year. I didn’t think he was going to magically make us stop regretting passing on Michael Thomas. I simply thought that 2018 was going to be the year that Treadwell finally started making some meaningful contributions to the Vikings offense. He had a very promising camp that cemented him firmly in the third wide receiver spot behind incumbent stars Stefon Diggs and Adam Thielen. He was using his big frame and reliable hands much more efficiently. Kirk Cousins was looking his way a lot more often than Case Keenum did in 2017. Treadwell seemed to be doing the little things right with a much better attitude. I was fully prepared to use “breakout” instead of “bust” as a prefix on his name.Smash cut to Treadwell’s Week 1 stat line against the San Francisco 49ers: four targets, two receptions, and 18 yards on 38 snaps. Same old Laquon. I tried my best to make his performance sound impressive, but I don’t think it worked.So what went wrong? One first quarter play in particular caught my eye on Sunday. It was a pass that Treadwell dropped. The drop turned out to be the least of his worries on this play.A play, a microcosmAt first glance this looked like your run of the mill drive-killing drop on third down. But Cousins throwing short of the sticks on 3rd & 6 with two linebackers right in front of Treadwell struck me as a bit odd when watching it live at the stadium. Even if the pass was completed, there was little chance that Treadwell was going to get the first down. Perhaps K’Waun Williams blitzing off the edge between Mike Remmers and Rashod Hill forced Cousins to throw before he was ready.But then after the play, Treadwell immediately began jawing with teammate Kyle Rudolph about some sort of miscommunication. Something was up.When I finally saw the broadcast replay, it became pretty clear that Cousins’ pass might not have been intended for Treadwell in the first place.While the pass was a bit wobbly due to Williams hitting Cousins’ hand as he releases, the replay angle certainly looks like it was intended to hit Rudolph in stride instead of going slightly behind Treadwell. Either way, this wasn’t how the play was drawn up.The coaches film leaves little doubt that Treadwell wasn’t supposed to be where he was on this play.After the snap, Treadwell just sort of stands there and shuffles a bit before running his route. Rudolph actually gestures at Treadwell during his own route, appearing to implore Treadwell to clear out. Since I am not John DeFilippo and I haven’t personally discussed this play with any of the parties involved, it’s tough to tell exactly what Treadwell was supposed to do here.If I had to venture a guess, I’d say he was supposed to drag underneath Rudolph to make the linebackers hesitate and leave Rudolph with more space to catch the crossing route. Instead, Treadwell was the one who hesitated. The result: a drive halted because he dropped a pass that wasn’t supposed to be his to drop.Of course, picking on one bad play isn’t really fair to Treadwell. Missing an assignment here and there is a problem that is hardly unique to him. It happens to everyone. But this is the kind of mental error that kept Treadwell from seeing a ton of snaps during his first two seasons. You can’t be making “rookie mistakes” in your third season. If it keeps happening in the future, it’s tough to envision the Vikings coaching staff tolerating it. Mishaps like this are more meaningful when they involve a player trying to shed their reputation of making mishaps.Barking at teammates on the field isn’t going to do him any favors either. There have been rumblings about Treadwell’s attitude since his arrival in Minnesota. It appeared that things had drastically improved in that area this year, so seeing that kind of body language on Sunday wasn’t a great look.But don’t give up yet.Even after spending all this time dissecting a single mistake, I’m still here to tell you that it isn’t time to abandon all hope on Treadwell just yet. The 49ers weren’t exactly an ideal matchup for Treadwell thanks to their acquisition of Richard Sherman in the offseason. While Sherman might not be the player he was during his Legion of Boom days in Seattle, he’s still a big cornerback that can negate the physicality that Treadwell likes to use to create space. Treadwell had a tough time getting separation whenever he lined up on Sherman’s side of the field.Treadwell’s first down catch during the two-minute drill in the first half was encouraging, especially where he made a couple players miss to get the first down. He definitely ran the right route here to find a hole in the 49ers zone.After going through most of the coaches film paying close attention to what Treadwell did off the ball, it was encouraging to see him so active. He finished blocks on running plays. On plays where Cousins was forced to scramble, Treadwell kept active to try and give his quarterback a target. He used his hands and body well to keep defenders off balance in his routes. He didn’t appear to have any egregious errors outside of the one we already broke down. The effort was certainly there, even if the results didn’t follow Week 1.The 2018 season didn’t get off to a great start for Laquon Treadwell. But it’s much too early to assume that he won’t make a significant impact for the Vikings this year. Hopefully Treadwell can stay positive and start making those meaningful contributions soon.
